Funny Posts

  1. Girls wait for the perfect guy: Disney’s fault. Guys wait for the perfect girl: Playboy’s fault.
  2. Homeless people have been known to step outside the box.
  3. I wish I was in a gang so I knew what do to with my hands in pictures.
  4. God is pretty creative. I mean, look at me.
  5. I hate it when you have to be nice to someone you really want to throw a brick at.
  6. When you aren’t sure what somebody said so you just smile and hope it wasn’t a question.
  7. I think Jerry Springer should moderate the next debate.
  8. I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.
  9. The best curve on a girl is her smile. Lol just kidding, look at dat ass.
  10. My favorite mythical creature is the Honest Politician
  11. I entered the word bit*h into my GPS and guess what, I’m in your driveway!!
  12. Canceling my subscription!! I’m tired of your issues.
  13. If others are jealous, you’re doing something right.
  14. Being a gentleman never goes out of style.
  15. If you can’t figure out where you stand with someone, it might be time to stop standing and start walking.
  16. Wife: Let’s go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
  17. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
  18. Hey, sorry I missed your call. I saw your name on the caller ID and I didn’t want to ruin my day by talking to you.
  19. Just a friendly reminder that the world supposedly ends in 73 days.
  20. That awkward moment when sluts hate on other sluts for being sluts.