Funny Posts

  1. Sarcasm is humor with an attitude.
  2. I’m no scientist but you’re an idiot.
  3. Please stop looking so hot, I’m trying to stop liking you.
  4. Dude… I was there, don’t try to change the story.
  5. Guy stole my bike so I got in a cab & said follow that guy! He said sure, whats his twitter name? We laughed & hi-fived & I need a new bike
  6. I should do my own TV series……….. Man vs Drink
  7. (.)(.) + $$ = ( . )( . )
  8. So apparently, all you can eat buffets do not include the waitresses.
  9. A real man should never wave faster than he SAYS the word “hey”
  10. Why can’t rappers rap about nice things? YEAH GIRL I’m GOING TO TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHS AND ……. Give them to a homeless guy because he’s cold
  11. Gay dude was reading a holiday brochure then he tells his partner, “This year we should try Greece.” His partner looks up and ask him. “Whts wrong with the Vaseline?”
  12. Picking up a tiny piece of paper off the carpet would probably only take me one second… But for some reason I’d rather vacuum over it 100 times, at different angles…
  13. Now that Fall is here, do you think all the teenage girls with duck-faces will fly South for the winter?
  14. What time does the funny stuff start around here? I can come back…
  15. Women complain about men using them only for sex as if sex is a bad thing. Sex is awesome. Start complaining when he starts using you for cooking, laundry and baby sitting while he is out having fun.
  16. You find it offensive?… I find it funny…. That’s why I’m happier than you
  17. I’m no cactus expert. But, I know a prick when I see one.
  18. They should have cell phone charges in waiting rooms instead of magazines.
  19. I have high friends in places.
  20. I’d rather break your headboard than your heart.