Funny Posts

  1. A big girl once came up to me and said “I think you’re fatist.” I said “No. I think you’re fattest.”
  2. Thinks face-book should add a big fat FUCK YOU button!
  3. Welcome to the real Internet, where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are the FBI.
  4. Friday is like a bra… You did your job all week, now it’s time to take it off!… anyone need a hand??
  5. ☆:*´¨`*twinkle twinkle little star…point me to the nearest bar *´¨`*:.☆ HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!
  6. Friday, I’ve tried to see other days and none compare to you, I love you.
  7. Sometimes all I’m really doing with my life is just trying to make it from one weekend to the next.
  8. My boss yelled at me yesterday “It’s the fifth time you’ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!” I said, “Probably that it’s Friday?”…
  9. Nothing makes me more nervous than receiving Facebook notifications after a weekend of drinking that says “you have been tagged in a photo”
  10. Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who’s free for the weekend
  11. Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to stop me from savagely beating one of my coworkers with a keyboard.
  12. Well, it’s easy to tell I’m married. It’s Friday night and I’m at home updating my Facebook status…
  13. Why even ask how my weekend was if you’re just going to interrupt me halfway through to say, “Yeah, I saw your Facebook post.”
  14. I’ve lost most of my hearing, but it’s okay because it turns out the only thing people say to me is “nothing, never mind.”
  15. I can always tell how good my weekend was by how many pictures I have to untag on Monday.
  16. Married 24 years now. All I recall about my wedding day is something about death.
  17. Lingerie is just expensive wrapping paper.
  18. To a woman, sexual harassment is when a man makes advances towards her. If a woman makes advances towards a man, we call that getting lucky.
  19. Just wanted to tell the weekend that I love you and I will be back, I will not let the weekdays take me away from you.
  20. If you’re 17 and your 200 year old lover won’t turn you into a vampire so you can be together forever, he’s just not that into you.