“There is a rumor going around that Facebook is building a cell phone.It’s pretty good, except you can only use it to call people you barely remember from high school.”
“One of the great mysteries to me is the fact that a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, rip the hair out by the roots, and still be afraid of a spider.”
“Changed the name on my iPhone to titanic. Now when I connect to iTunes it says the…… Titanic is synching”
“Dance like the photo’s not being tagged, Love like you’ve never been unfriended, Status Update like nobody’s following.”
“When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.”
If you need a friend (text me) need a laugh (call me) need a hug (stop by) need money (this number is no longer in service)
For every woman with a curve, there are several men with angles.
In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar. A practice that still continues
First Guy (proudly): ‘My wife’s an angel!’ Second Guy: ‘You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.
I was discussing with my friend about the popular trends on sex, marriage and values. He says to me “I didn’t sleep with my wife before we got married, did you? I replied. “I’m not sure, what was her maiden name?
If girls were as nice to each other in real life as they are in Facebook comments, think how different the world would be.
Everyone want to change the WORLD, but no one thinks of changing THEMSELVES !!!
When a woman says “fine” what she really means is “I’m going to say things are fine but they really aren’t and I will later throw it back in your face.
Ladies If it takes you more than a hour to get ready, then you ain’t as cute as you think you are
Life is like Facebook. People will like your problems & comment, but no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs
If your relationship has more issues than a magazine stand then I suggest you cancel that subscription
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girlfriends.
People will hate you, rate you, break you, and shake you. How strong you stand is what makes you.(“,)
You know you’ve truly grown up when you realize your parents knew exactly what they were talking about
Adam, is working in the Garden of Eden, when the skies open up, and God appears spotlighted by a shaft of brilliant blue light.God asks Adam how things were in the garden:’Fine thanks’ replies Adam.’God’, inquires Adam, ‘Why did you make Eve so beautiful?”So you would love her.’ Said God ‘But why did you make her so dumb?”So she would love you.’ Explained God.