Funny Whatsapp Status

  1. Sometimes a special someone walks right into your life and helps you realize how much better your life was before they walked into it.
  2. Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair
  3. Boss: Why aren’t you working? Me: I didn’t see you coming!
  4. ‘Why are you walking away when we’re in the middle of discussing our wedding plans? Come back! At least give me your number!’
  5. Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets and we turned out fine. And you know what else? Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets and we turned out fine.
  6. Just spent the last 30 minutes cutting a Batman mask off the back of a box of Honey Nut Cheerios & my kid thinks he’s gonna get to wear it.
  7. People assume when I yawn that I’ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
  8. What if God is a woman. Not only will I be going to Hell, but I’ll never hear the end of it.
  9. I feel like I’m not getting the full experience of a gas station bathroom if I don’t cut and dye my hair and change my identity.
  10. I was disappointed to learn that the Discovery Channel’s program “Deadliest Catch” wasn’t about first marriages.
  11. My wife just made a “special” dinner “just for me” for no apparent reason. I’m going to die, right ?
  12. Hey scientists, you gave us Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra. How about you stop playing with your dicks and give us something for cancer?
  13. The only thing my girlfriend blows is everything out of proportion.
  14. This ad says: “3 out of 5 smokers die” Apparently the other 2 become immortal.
  15. Most people don’t act stupid – it’s the real thing.
  16. I’m not feeling myself today … would you do it for me?
  17. Remember when there was nothing to check and no device to check it on and all you did was live your life?
  18. She died doing what she loved! Telling me how to drive.
  19. My girlfriend told me I’m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman… What a joker!
  20. The Walking Dead reminds you that other people would still be your biggest problem even if most of them died.