Funny Whatsapp Status

  1. Theirye’re, problem solved.
  2. Exercising can add years to your life. For example I jogged 4 miles today and now I feel like I’m 73.
  3. Before I workout, I like to warm up with 10 sets of selfie’s.
  4. Nothing worse than meeting the right person at the wrong time in your life.
  5. I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
  6. I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control, and I thought to myself. “Well this changes everything”
  7. I’d be more motivated to work out if the stationary bikes had a little basket to hold my snacks and beer.
  8. Wanna know what it’s like being married? Chain yourself to a wild animal. Now kick the animal.
  9. My dog said “woof” so I said “woof” & now I’m afraid of what I may have agreed to.
  10. I will be posting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
  11. Sometimes I’ll catch my reflection in a mirror and I’ll be like, “oh no, that can’t be right.”
  12. The best stories ever told always end with the words”…and then I got the hell out of there.”
  13. I gauge a person’s wealth by the level of protection on their iPhone. No case, huge salary.
  14. If you come home after work and your wife greets you saying she got a massive pay raise from her boss at work, remember to not kiss her on the lips.
  15. I will not be composing any quality posts today. So just keep scrolling.
  16. Yeah, so, I don’t usually argue with people who I can remove from my life by pressing a button…..
  17. There were only 3 commandments until Moses’ wife got involved.
  18. If I were Stevie Wonder I would say “I’ll believe it when I see it” in response to pretty much anything just to piss people off.
  19. “Let’s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise” – sports fans
  20. Dear whoever ate my fries while I was in the ball pit at McDonald’s; Not funny, grow up.