Bird Is The Word

What’s the difference between the USA and a bird? ….

On a bird, the left wing and right wing work together for the benefit of the whole bird.

It’s the day before Thanksgiving

It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.
“Please let me in,” says the man desperately. “I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don’t come home with one.”
“Okay,” says the butcher. “Let me see what I have left.” He goes into the freezer and discovers that there’s only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.
“That’s one is too skinny. What else you got?” says the man.
The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.
“Oh, no,” says the man, “That one doesn’t look any better. You better give me both of them!”

The Burka

We live in Perth, Australia, and the missus decided for the first time
to wear a Burka for a week just to see what the reaction would be.
The first morning she was sworn at, punched on the nose,
kicked up the arse, and received death threats.
Heaven knows what’s going to happen when she leaves the house