Swingers Party

I went to this swingers party in Liverpool and tossed my keys into a bowl. I thought I had hit the jackpot when this sultry blonde picked them out.

Never saw my BMW again.

Driving Back

I was driving back home when my girl referred about men’s disability for multi-tasking and that there were no two things on earth that a man can do what a woman couldn’t.
I didn’t disagree and just smiled while I was backing into a parking space, scratching my balls.

Twist It

Guys try this out! Listen to something someone tells you.
Now twist it into every horrible way possible….. Congratulations!…..Now you’re a woman.

Telling Time

I got home from the pub last night and my wife said, “I can’t believe how intoxicated you are.”

Denying it I said, “I’m not drunk.”

She said, “Yes you are.”

I said, “No I’m fcuking not.”

She said, “Can you tell the time?”

I walked up to the clock and said, “I’m not fcuking drunk.”