Run Like Hell

I’ve been following the news recently regarding the world record setting Usain Bolt and wondering why black people are so fast, then I realised….. All the slow ones are already in jail.

Breaking Bad

You know you masturbate too much when you drop your wank sock and your wife shouts from the other room, “I hope that wasn’t one of our good plates?”

Foot Ball Fancy Dress

My mate threw a ‘football themed’ party last night.

I showed up in shirt and jeans.

“What have you come as?” he asked.

“John Terry” I replied.

“What? You look nothing like him” he replied, as his wife got out of my car, pulling her knickers up.