Pet Pug

I bought my wife a Pug yesterday.

Despite the squashed nose, bulging eyes and rolls of fat…….the dog seems to like her.

hiding in the cupboard

I hate it in films when they have sex scenes and both the man and the woman both orgasm at the same time

The only time me and a girl orgasm-ed at the same time,

She didn’t even know I was hiding in the cupboard.

Here Boy

An old Irish farmer’s dog goes missing and he’s inconsolable.  His wife says “Why don’t you put an advert in the paper?”
He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.  “What did you put in the paper?” his wife asks.  “Here boy” he replies.