DRIVING LICENSE

A little girl and her mother were shopping. The girl asks her mother “How old are you?” Mommy says “Honey, women don’t talk about their age, you’ll learn later on in life.”
The girl then asks, “Mommy, how much do you weigh?” Mommy says, That’s another thing women don’t talk about, you’ll find out when you are grown up.”
The girl still wanting to know about her mother asks, “Mommy, why did you and daddy get a divorce?” Mommy says, “Honey, that is a subject that hurt me very much, and I don’t want to talk about it now.”
The little girl is frustrated. She tells her girlfriend about her and her mother’s conversation. The girlfriend says, “All you have to do is sneak a look at your mother’s drivers license. It’s just like a report card, it tells you everything.”
The little girl and her mother are shopping again. The girl says, “Mommy, I know how old you are. You are 32 years old.” Her mommy is very shocked! She asks “Sweetheart how did you do that?”
The girl shrugs and says, “I just know, and I know how much you weigh. You weigh 120 pounds.” The mother is flabbergasted. She asks, “Where did you learn that?”
The little girl says, “I just know, that’s all, and I know why you and daddy got a divorce. You got an ‘F’ in sex!”

Energizer Bunny

A very sad event occurred last night: the Energizer Bunny, after going and going for so long has unfortunately passed away.

The official medical report states that Mr. Bunny died from a Heart Attack brought on by sexual over stimulation.

It seems that someone had put his batteries in backwards and he kept coming…and coming…and coming……

2 Camels

Two camels, a father and son are grazing. The younger camel looks up to his father and says “Dad! Why do we have these giant humps on our backs?” The father camel looks down on the son and says. “Why, so we can travel for miles in the desert without stopping for water.” The young camel looks astonished and says “Wow, I didn’t know that!”

A few minutes later, the younger camel pips up again “Dad! Why do we have really thick eyelids?” The older father, rather agitated by his son’s curiosity, answers quickly. “So that our eyes are not scratched by sand storms. “Wow!” The young camel says…

Another minute later and the father camel hears his son again. “Dad!”. “What now!” The father camel asks. The son then asks. “Why do we have huge feet?” “Well son.” The father camel starts. “We need to tread through the sand and out feet are big so we can travel much easier…”

A few minutes pass before the father hears his son again. The father camel, clearly agitated turns round. “What!?”

“Dad…. What the fuck are we doing in a zoo then?”