Mark my words: In a year, the leading cause of death will be “Beaten to death with a selfie stick”
A lady selling women’s cosmetics starts her day bright and early. She comes to a home at 7 a.m. and knocks on the door. A man answers the door wearing just boxer shorts. The sales lady asks, “Can I speak to the woman in the house? I have some cosmetics that she may be interested in purchasing.”
The man responds, “My wife is at work now and won’t return until about noon.”
“That’s OK”, the lady says, “I will be back at about 12:30 to see her then.”
The man then says, “You won’t be able to see her then either. We will be busy when she gets home and she has to get ready to go to her other job.”
“Ohâ€¦, OK, ah, wellâ€¦ then I will come back at around 5 p.m. and catch her then” says the sales lady.
“Well, you won’t be able to talk to her then either. We are going to be busy again when she gets home. She then has to get ready to go to work for another employer and won’t be back until late this evening.”
The sales lady is taken back and is compelled to ask, “Don’t YOU have a job”?
The guy answers simply, “No, I don’t have a job. I don’t work at all.”
The sales lady becomes somewhat repulsed by this guy. She says, “Do you mean to tell me that your wife works three jobs, while you just sit around at home all day long?”
The guy says, “That’s correct.”
The sales lady can’t help but get angry. She then tells the guy, “You know what, buddy, you disgust me! Guys like you ought to be hung”!
The man then simply states, “I am.”
I was in a sex shop looking at the inflatable dolls when the shop assistant came over, he said ” have you thought about purchasing the new Terrorist doll”? I said ” is it much different to the other inflatable dolls ?” he said ” yes they blow themselves up”.
I went to meet a bird I’d been chatting to on a dating website.
I said, “I don’t mean to be rude but you look a lot different to how you look in the photos.”
He said, “Yeah, I get that a lot.”