Happy Baby

Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the men’s delight, she points out the happy child as theirs. …

”Isn’t it wonderful?” Brad exclaims. ”All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy.”

”He’s happy now,” says the nurse. “But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his ass.”

First Started Drugs

I remember when I first started using drugs. I was 18 years old…

It all started with a spliff, the odd bong or two.

Before I knew it, I’d started using amphetamines like speed and for a stronger buzz, I moved on to ecstasy.

It wasn’t long after, that I started on the hard stuff, like cocaine and heroin.

I was a complete mess.

I was broke and my body was ruined.

But fuck me, what a night.