I’ve just bought the new Beach Boys mobile phone.
The ringtones are shit but it has good vibrations.
On a train from London to Manchester, an American was berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment. “You English are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lips make your above the rest of us. Look at me…I’m me, I have Italian blood, French blood, a little Indian blood, and some Swedish blood. What do you say to that?”
The Englishman replied, “Very sporting of your mother.”
I can always tell, just by looking, when someone is lying.
I can also tell when they’re standing.