That’s not even close

I was at a job interview today, and the interviewer said, “It says on your CV that you are quick at mental arithmetic. What’s seventeen times nineteen?”

I immediately said, “Thirty-six.”

He said, “That’s not even close.”

I said, “But it was quick.”

Football Manager

I was playing Football Manager on my PC when I was offered the Scotland job.

I knew it was a shit squad with no future, so I declined the offer.

I then put the phone down and got back to Football Manager.

Over 70% of bishops are gay

I read an article the other day which claimed that over 70% of bishops are gay.
Imagine if they changed the rules of chess now to acknowledge this fact… the bishops would still move in the same directions but could only be taken from behind.