You are on a horse

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse but your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round!

B in Maths

GCSEs: Who needs them?

I’ve been lying on my CV for years and no fucker has checked them.

B in maths? I can’t even count to B.

Ninja Turtle

I’ve started visiting orgies dressed as a Ninja-Turtle!

I’m really coming out of my shell these days!