Generous Husband

My wife’s sister visited us yesterday in her brand new Porsche.

Astonished, my wife asked her “How could you afford this?!”

“You know, a blow job every now and again makes my husband very generous,” she replied.

Surprised, my wife turned to me and winked, “I think I’ll start doing that.”

“Me too,” I replied, turning to my sister in law. “What’s your husband’s number

Married Sex Life

Two blokes talking in a pub.

One says “After ten years of marriage, my sex life is down to once a month.

The other says “Think yourself lucky pal, if my missus didn’t sleep with her mouth open my sex life would be non existent”

Down On One Knee

My girlfriend got down on one knee to me earlier.

“I love you,” she smiled. “Will you marry me?”

“Let’s talk about it when you’ve finished, eh?” I replied, unzipping my trousers.