Ving And Ling

Two Students from Asia Came to My High School…

They were twins, a guy, Ving, and a girl, Ling. Ving is in my math class, and the dude’s like a math wiz. I’m really struggling, so I ask Ving if he’d give me a hand on the homework. Ving says yeah, he just wants me to do him a favor.

I’m like yeah sure what. He asks me to drive him to the city hall after school. He says he wants to change his name to something more American.

I’m like cool cool, so after school I’m driving Ling and Ving to the city hall, and Ling is totally giving Ving the cold shoulder. I’m like what’s the deal and Ving explains that his name has been passed down for generations, and Ling is totally pissed that he’d disrespect his ancestry by changing it.

So then we get to the city hall and wait in line for a super long time. Finally it’s our turn and Ving tells me he’s picked “Lee” as his American name. He steps up to the desk and starts filling out some paperwork, and the whole time Ling is scolding him about the ancestry shit, blah blah.

Then it’s time for Ving to sign his name and seal the deal, but suddenly his eyes well up with tears and he says that he can’t do it. Shittttt man, that ancestry shit runs deeeep. The lady at the desk is like ok, but Ving has to pay a small fee to cancel his request. Argh, stupid small town laws. Ling groans as she opens up her purse and starts sifting around for cash.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, some Asian guy bursts through the town hall doors.

“DAD!” Ling and Ving exclaim.

He looked at them and cried, “Don’t stop! Be Lee, Ving. Hold on to that fee, Ling!”