I shouted to the barmaid, “Two pints of lager please.” She said, “I’m not deaf.” I said, “Sorry, I noticed your wedding ring and the black eye. I presumed you had a problem listening.”
As we’ve got older, my wife and I have both lost a few teeth. I didn’t brush mine very often. She nagged me about it.
I was sick of my wife teasing me about my color blindness and resorted to violence. I beat her dark grey and grey.
According to Cosmopolitan, “blue is the new black.” Which should please my wife, because she’s both.
Russia wants to decriminalise domestic abuse. It’s a real slap in the face to women everywhere.