My fruit and vegetable business has gone into liquidation. We now sell smoothies.
My wife called me as I was sat in the pub last night. “I’ve cooked dinner,” she screamed, “And if you’re not home within 20 minutes I’m going to feed it to the dog.” “Woooah! That’s bang out of order!” I said, “It’s not his fault.”
I bought a bag of vegetarian sausages. When I opened it, it turned out that they were just carrots.
I just found bacteria growing on my chocolate bar. I guess there is Life on Mars.