A bloke pulls a Chinese lass up at a club. She say’s, “me so horny, me do anything for you”..”Bloke says “how about a 69?”,she says “you fluck off, me no cooking at this time of night!”
Forecast for tonight: Alcohol, low standards, and poor decisions.
I thought I hadn’t been paying my wife much attention recently so, as it was her birthday on Friday, I decided I would give her a ring as a present.
Amazingly, that started another row. Because I rang her from the pub.