Poker All Day

I phoned my wife today and said, “Pack a bag dear, I’ve booked us into a hotel for a few nights.”

“Ooh, why’s that?” she asked.

I said, “Well I’ve been playing poker all day, haven’t I!”

“Really?” she asked again in excitement, “How much have you won?”

“Nothing,” I replied. “I’ve lost the house.”

Black 33

I was just about to place my chips on the roulette table at the casino when the African man standing next to me gave me a nudge and said, “Black, 33.”

I shook his hand and said, “White, 28.”

Poker With The Lads

I came home from the pub four hours late last night.

“Where the fuck have you been?” screamed my wife.

I said, “I’ve been playing poker with some blokes.”

“Playing poker with some blokes?” she repeated. “Well, you can pack your bags and go!”

“So can you” I said, “This isn’t our house anymore.”