Feeding Piranhas

I walked into the library and asked, “Do you have any audio-books on how to carefully feed your pet piranha fish?”

The assistant replied, “Does it have to be an audio-book?”

“Yes,” I said, showing her the stumps where my hands used to be.

Sense of Quiet

A man goes into a library and doesn’t ask for a book. Instead he uses his own eyes and common sense.

This places no burden on the librarian, who subsequently has no need to say anything.

Too Late

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on chlamydia.

The librarian says, “You’re girlfriend already has it, she said that she gave it to you.”