It’s been reported by the National Health Service (NHS) that masturbating twice a week increases your life expectancy by 20%. … Now I have finished the calculations and found out that I’m immortal.
My wife said we should get our twelve year old autistic son a fidget spinner to keep him occupied. I went one better, I showed him how to wank.
I went to the corner shop earlier to get some cigarettes. The shopkeeper handed me a packet. The warning on it said, “Smokers Die Younger”. I said, “No, not this one. My parents wouldn’t like that.” He handed me another. The warning on it said, “Smoking Causes Cancer”. I said, “No, not this one either. … Read more
We choose to masturbate, not because it is easy, but because it is hard.