Bruised and Battered

I met a bloke in a wheelchair today, his face was battered and bruised.

“What happened to your face?” I asked.

“I’m a Paralympian,” he replied.

“Boxing?” I enquired.

“No…” he said, “… hurdles.”

Equestrian Winner

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says, “Why the long face?”

The horse replies, “I came first in the Olympics and they gave the medal to the twat on my back.”