The Yellow Light

The light turned yellow, just in front of him.

He did the right thing and stopped at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman behind him was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.

The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.

He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door.

She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, ”I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, giving the guy in front of you the finger and cursing at him.

I noticed the ‘What Would Jesus Do’ bumper sticker, the ‘Choose Life’ licence plate holder, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday-School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally ……

I assumed you had stolen the car.”

The Juggler

So this guy is speeding down a freeway, miles above the speed limit, and a cop pulls him over. …

He comes up to the man and asks, “Why were you speeding today sir?” …

The man replies, “I’m a juggler in a circus, and I’m late for my next show. I apologize. I assume you’ll be needing my license and registration.” …

The cop looks intrigued, and says “whoa, hold on a sec. my daughter loves juggling! If you let me film you for a minute and send it to my daughter, I’ll let you go with a warning.” …

The juggler says, “officer, I don’t have my equipment with me, I had to ship it separately.” the officer thinks for a minute, and brings back five flares from his car and lights them. …

The juggler effortlessly starts to toss and catch the flaming flares and the officer is very impressed.

Meanwhile, another man driving by pulls over and stops his car. he gets out, stumbles into the back seat of the police car, and closes the door. the officer slowly approaches, hand on his gun, and says “sir, I’m going to have to ask you to slowly step out of the vehicle.”

The man looks at the cop and chuckles, his words slurred, “sorry officer but I ain’t never gonna pass that new sobriety test you got there”