Teacher: Why are you late to class? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That’s nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it.
My son is three-years-old and yesterday I took him shopping. When we got home, he had a chocolate bar in his pocket. Now, I didn”t buy it and he certainly didn”t buy it, so I marched him straight back to the shopping centre – and went to the jewellers.
A police officer asks a thief, “Why did you steal this stranger’s watch?” The thief replies, “I didn’t steal it — he gave it to me!” The policeman asks, “When did he give it to you?” The thief tells him, “When I showed him the gun.”
Today I donated a watch and $500 dollars to a poor guy. You don’t know the happiness I felt as I saw him put back his knife in his pocket.
A man came home to discover that someone had stolen all his lamps. He was delighted.