“What’re you doing, love?” I asked the wife as she waddled into the living room, arms piled high with clothes. “Sorting out my wardrobe.” She replied. “I’m throwing these away, they’re all either too big or too small.” My money’s on small.
My wife said that we would be leaving for dinner really soon and that she`ll be dressed in 10 minutes. Perfect I thought, just enough time for me to watch the full game of thrones box set.
I just put nearly 400 pounds on a horse. My wife wanted to go riding, poor fucking horse.
This farmer stomps into his marital bedroom carrying a sheep and exclaims, “This is the pig I fuck when you give me attitude.” … His wife looks at him curiously and says, “I think you’ll find that’s a sheep” … He snaps back and says, “I think you’ll find that’s who I was talking to!”