Letting Yourself Go

I was looking at my wife: no teeth in, tits on her belly, hair a mess and smoking a roll up. Then she cocked her leg and let out a massive fart.

“You are a mess and I’m disgusted with you,” I said. “I’m still the woman you love and married,” she said. “Sometimes we all let ourselves go a bit.”

“We’re on our fucking honeymoon,” I replied!

Saggers

My wife has got to an age where she’s not bothered about the size of her tits any more.

It’s the length she’s bothered about now.

Only for Sex

My missus argued the other day that all I want her for is sex.

She seemed to forget all about the washing,cooking,cleaning and shopping.