Blow Job Vacuum

Paddy and Murphy chatting about wanking. Murphy asks Paddy if he’s ever had a blow job off the vacuum. Paddy thinks for a second and replies, “No, never!”that night, Paddy’s got sex on the mind, looks over at the vacuum and recalls Murphy’s question and thinks…. fuck it! why not? He plugs the vac in, turns it on and sticks his cock in only to be met with the most excruciating pain. Paddy quickly switches it off, runs out to his car with it still hanging from his cock and races to Murphy’s house. He bangs on the door and Murphy opens it, Paddy shouts “Murphy you Bastard, I tried getting a suck off the vac and look what it’s done to my cock! Murphy replies “Shit Paddy, you best get to the hospital, it’s wrapped round the roller brush.

Advisor on Sexual Matters

The drinker announced to the bartender, “It seems I’ve been informally named advisor on ‘Sexual Matters’ at my company.”

“That sounds interesting. Does this mean you’ll be counseling the big bosses on relations with their secretaries?”

“I’m not sure yet,” he answered.

“During a staff meeting, I popped up to suggest a reduction in executive expense accounts and it was after that I was told if they ever wanted my fucking advice, they’d let me know.”

Contains Nudity

A boy was watching TV with his father..

When a sex scene came on. “well son, time for bed” the father says. “but dad, I’m 15 now!” the son complains. The father replies “I don’t care how old you are son, you’re not watching me masturbate”