My Own Zoo

I was thinking of starting up a small zoo, so I wrote a letter to London Zoo; “Dear Sir, I’m starting up a zoo, please send me 2 mongooses.” I thought that didn’t sound right so I tried again; “Dear Sir, I’m starting up a small zoo, please send me 2 mongeese.” Nope, that still … Read more…

FunnyLame (No Ratings Yet)
Loading... 3 hours ago

Soor poor

I’m not saying we were poor, but there’s many a time my mother sent me next door with a button to ask a neighbour if she’d sew a shirt on it.

FunnyLame (No Ratings Yet)
Loading... 3 hours ago

Last Person Alive

A girl in a bar said to me, “I wouldn’t fuck you if you were the last person alive.” Leaning over and whispering, I replied, “But who would be around to stop me?”

FunnyLame (+9 rating)
Loading... 3 hours ago

Chinese Inventions

The Chinese invented paper in about 60AD. They invented printing before the year 650. There is evidence they had also invented gunpowder before 1044AD, and the iron compass around the time of Christ. When do you think they’ll get around to the knife & fork?

FunnyLame (+3 rating)
Loading... 3 hours ago

Because your worth it

The heiress to the L’Oreal cosmetics empire has turn to prostitution to make ends meet, putting a $5 million price tag on her services for a single night. Which is fair enough, because she’s worth it.

FunnyLame (+13 rating)
Loading... 4 hours ago

Top Magician

I love magicians. Who’s that guy in America who made those landmarks disappear? Oh right, yeah, Bin Laden.

FunnyLame (+26 rating)
Loading... 5 hours ago

Sex for a Woman

Being a guy i have always wondered what sex must be like for a woman, but i suppose its like putting a cotton bud in your ear feels great, till he sticks it in too deep.

FunnyLame (+13 rating)
Loading... 16 hours ago

Takes Ages

I dont see why Chinese people use the chop sticks to eat, took me fucking ages to eat my soup.

FunnyLame (+26 rating)
Loading... 16 hours ago

Matter of Taste

Some people prefer to put the thermometer in their mouth, while others prefer it in their rectum. It’s a matter of taste!

FunnyLame (+12 rating)
Loading... 17 hours ago