News 2016: ‘Broadband in India speeding up’ News 2020: ‘India win Gold in Arm Wrestling’
I’ve just seen an advert saying that it’s illegal to bring food into the U.K. if it comes from a non European country. If drug dealers can get thousands of pounds worth of heroin past customs, I think I’ll take a my chances with a fucking mango.
News: ‘Parachute team die in plane crash’ Couldn’t they have just jumped out?
I always keep my shoes and socks on during sex. There’s quite cold draft somewhere under my computer desk.
After reading so many jokes about wank socks, I thought that I would give it a try to see if the method delivers a superior wank experience. I tried four different types of sock, from formal black dress to walking, before finally deciding that I had overstayed my welcome in Marks & Spencer
The Liverpool manager flies to Kabul to watch a young Afghani play football. He is suitably impressed and arranges for the player to come over. Two weeks later Liverpool are 2-0 down to Newcastle with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young Afghani striker the nod, and on he goes. The lad is … Read more…
According to Coco Chanel, you should only spray perfume where you’d like to be kissed. Silly bitch. It burns like fuck.
I was in a bad place when my girlfriend broke up with me. A brothel.
A blonde cleaning-woman phones a fax machine manufacturer, and asks to speak to Jack. “Nobody called Jack works here,” says their switchboard operator. “But I must speak to him so that I can clean the fax machine!” insists the blonde. “Can I help with anything?” “No, only Jack.” “But why?” The blonde explains: “They told … Read more…
Elton John may be a very good pianist, But he sucks on the organ.