New Jokes

Some doctor on television this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I’d started and hadn’t finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bottle of Baileys, a bottle of vodka, a pack of Pringle’s, the remainder of bottle Prozac and Valium prescriptions, the rest of the Cheesecake an a box a chocolates. You have no idea how bloody good I feel. I could fuck a Duck…!

Click here for more NEW JOKES!

Hot Jokes This Week

I saw this guy in an Italian restaurant ordering pizza in fluent Italian. The waiter seemed to appreciate his willingness to accept their culture.

So, I tried the same thing in our local Chinese restaurant.

I squinted my eyes and shouted, “Harro! Spesha frah raice prease!” But instead of showing appreciation, they took the upturned prawn-cracker basket from my head and told me to get out.

Click here for more HOT JOKES!