My Own Zoo

I was thinking of starting up a small zoo, so I wrote a letter to London Zoo;

“Dear Sir, I’m starting up a zoo, please send me 2 mongooses.”

I thought that didn’t sound right so I tried again;

“Dear Sir, I’m starting up a small zoo, please send me 2 mongeese.”

Nope, that still didn’t sound right;

“Dear Sir, I’m starting up a small zoo, please send me 2 mongi.”

Ahh fuck it I thought,

“Dear Sir, I’m starting up a small zoo, please send me a mongoose.

P.S. Send me another one.”

Juicy Fruit

Jewish people don’t miss a trick when it comes to turning a dollar.

Our local synagogue owns a Kosher deli and they transfer the foreskins from the bris procedures to the deli, which in turn sells the foreskins to gays for use as chewing gum.